Motherhood - the state of being a mother.
Spousehood - the state of being a spouse.
Both motherhood and spousehood are very rewarding but one must put the work in order to receive great results.
I pretty much started my journey as a mama and a wife around the same time. Why? Because I knew what I wanted.
My husband and I talked about starting a family and getting married since.. what seems like day one. To be honest, the first qualities I saw in Josh were - a great husband and a great father. Don't get me wrong, he's far from perfect and I saw a lot of other things lol - however, there was always something in him that lit up when it was time to talk about family, goals and his future. He's always been a man about business and has a humongous heart. I have a gift of being able to read people almost instantly (I get it from my mama) - so the fact that I was able to read so much positivity in him within a very short time span of "talking" to him, when at the time, I didn't know him from a can of paint, spoke volumes.
We actually didn't start the title of "boyfriend and girlfriend" until a year after we'd met each other.
There were a lot of obstacles he and I had to get over before we were ready for a serious commitment. Because I personally, never dated for fun - I'm a business woman myself lol.
So, once we made it official, it honestly was a wrap from there. I've always known I was going to marry him.
One of our biggest battles before becoming husband and wife, was the distance, and one of the best ways to overcome a distant relationship, is COMMUNICATION. We told/tell each other every little thing and never held back, no matter how bad it may be. So the communication, along with many other important attributes that allowed our relationship to progress, only spilled over into our marriage.
When we found out we were pregnant, we soon after decided on a date (because getting married was never a question for us). Originally before we found out we were pregnant, we wanted to get married September 23, 2015 (his late grandmother's birthday) BUT little ole me was due with Ivan the Great on September 13, 2015 - so clearly that was not going to work. He ended up doing a big proposal at his senior basketball game, during the middle of his recognition as an honorable team Captian and teammate, in front of the whole school. That just goes to show how dope he is - he made an event that was supposed to be about him, about us. I was flabbergasted and speechless...literally Lol. From there, we bumped the date up to June 6, 2015.
There were a whirlwind of emotions that went along with the major life changing events that were upon me. Now I am definitely the optimistic type of person, I always manage to see the good in any and everything - so I made sure I found every way to not allow the wedding, carrying our child, balancing two jobs and school stress me out.
People often assume that optimistic people are so overly bubbly and unrealistic but that's really a negative way of looking at it - because despite my optimism, I'm not that super bubbly girl nor am I unrealistic. Being a true optimist is a constant choice to choose the positive thought over the negative thought. This doesn't mean that the negative thought does not come to mind because I can vouch that as a self proclaimed optimist, negative thoughts definitely circulate. However I constantly try to commit to the most beneficial thought that helps me move towards genuine happiness.
So on my bad days, especially during my pregnancy and wedding prep, I have to really tell myself how blessed I am because my mind can run wild at times. Being able to wake up and get another day, another chance at life, is enough blessing in itself. So I had/have plenty of reason to tell myself to cool it. Lol
Being able to get through those times - from distance with my best friend/love, pregnancy and wedding season; then fast forward to now - a little over a half year of motherhood and pretty much a year of marriage, I am so happy to say that I have kept my sanity and happiness. All of the glory goes to God.
God is the reason for successful marriage, successful motherhood and sanity. When you consciously keep God first and recognize that he is in control AND can be comfortable and confident in the fact that he has carefully stitched your entire life since day one... It will bring you so much peace and choosing to speak that positive thought into existence over that negative thought, will be that much easier.
Natural hair is often said to be a very time consuming commitment - this is true. Lol. However it is very rewarding. To be able to watch your hair flourish because of the time you spend to take care of it is a beautiful process. I am going to list three major yet underrated hair tips, in other words - tips that are often circulated but rarely done.
1. Scalp massages - Giving yourself scalp massages at least 3 times a week will really get your hair follicles open and moving, allowing your hair to grow at a faster pace. I like to use black Jamaican castor oil when I do my scalp massages, that way I am moisturizing and massaging all at once.
2. Finger detangling/combing - This is honestly what makes the difference in my curls now compared to when I first started wearing my hair out and natural. Using your fingers with product allows you to get the product IN your strands versus ON your strands. What's the difference? When the product is IN your strands, the moisture lasts longer, giving you longer lasting styles. When the product is ON your strands, it is not working to keep your hair moisturized. Ultimately, wasting your time putting the product in.
Also, when detangling on wash days, using your fingers allows for you to feel your knots and tangles and you are able to delicately get them out - versus ripping through your tangles with a comb. Ripping through with a comb will cause you to lose a much larger amount of hair compared to when you finger detangle. However please do not be mistaken, losing small amounts of hair when detangling is completely normal.
3. Knowing your hair type - Figuring this out will change your life as a natural haired gal or guy. What turns most people off is the ongoing search for the "perfect" product. When you know your hair type, you'll realize that the product does not have to be perfect, however the consistency of the product is what needs to benefit your hair type/texture.
***If you need direct help with any of these tips, please contact me and I would be glad to assist you!