On August 11th @ 1 pm, I was three days past my due date and went for my check up at my OB. I was going yet again, hopeful for there to be progress with my dilation... but there wasn’t. 0 inches. My Dr said “well the good thing is that you could literally go from 0 to 100 at this point”. So once I left that appointment I told myself I was going to sit on the yoga ball when I got home until Iverson came. So that’s exactly what I did. I was not playing because I was OVER it and REALLY wanted him earth side. I bounced on the ball for the rest of the day, drank lots of water and even ate a date (I hate dates so I was clearly desperate). I began to feel Braxton hick type contractions so I knew something major was coming and decided to lay down and let my body rest.
Later around 1 am, in my sleep, I felt a pop.. and knew that meant my water broke. So I went to the bathroom to avoid wetting the bed and indeed lost fluids. I called my mom to come over to get Ivan, then called my doula and she reminded me to try to labor home as long as possible, so I did that. I labored are home for about 4 hours. I was chillin for the first 3 hours because I could feel contractions but they weren’t painful and were pretty spaced out. So I sat on the ball some more and watched Black Is King, I needed something to fuel my spirit! Lol. Contractions didn’t become intense and less than a minute apart until the 4th hour (about 4 am). So at that point we headed to the hospital. I had my lil playlist on in the car and was still very under control mentally/emotionally/physically. Just so excited and eager to meet my baby.
When we arrived to AAMC, the contractions were more intense, however I was still walking and functioning fine. I just took deep breaths through each contraction and kept affirming that my body was built for child birth.
Once we got in the hospital room they hooked me up to the monitor and the nurse said “have you had trouble previously with baby’s heart rate?” In my head I’m like “omfg what is about happen.....”, but I remained calm and said “no. Why?” She explains that his heart rate is decelerating. But I just brushed it off, like naw we ain’t going out like this. Nurse then checks my cervix and I just KNEW I would have a few inches of dilation...still NONE. The nurse couldn’t even reach my cervix, it was closed shut! In my head I’m thinking “howwww is 0 dilation possible with these intense contractions?!” Yet still, I’m keeping my cool and breathing through my contractions.
My doc comes in, a Black woman, who definitely was in favor of my natural delivery plan, basically says - it’s not looking good with the combo of zero dilation and baby’s heart decelerating and suggests the c section. She also expresses that she knew how bad I wanted this and she wanted it for me but we don’t want to risk baby’s life or my life trying to deliver vaginally when we KNOW we can get us both out of here safe with a c-section. However, my contractions are so intense that my doc says that it wouldn’t be a crazy idea to wait it out and see if I end up jumping to a few inches of dilation in the next hour or so. But I had a feeling that wasn’t realistic and began to prepare mentally for a c-section.
That mental prep wasn’t doing so good lol, bc I’m starting to get nervous and as I’m breathing through my contraction, I hang my head and start crying. My husband, still pro-the vaginal birth plan for no reason other than, he knew how bad I wanted it, is checking the monitor and trying to figure out how we can make a natural birth work. I also have my doula on FT trying to do as much as she could from a distance. So I ask my doctor for a minute to talk with my husband and doula in private.
After chatting, it was very hard to face but my ultimate feel was this - I don’t want to risk my life or Iverson’s. So I said “I guess it’s going to be c-section.” I’m still in tears and my husband and doula are both asking if I’m positive I want to do it, trying to ensure that his heart rate is still decelerating on the screen, and it is. Which made the c-section a no brainer with the information we had in front of us WHILE I’m still experiencing these crazy contractions with zero meds.
We give the doc the green light for cesarean, they get me ready for surgery and wheel me down to the operation room. At that point I feel like I’m moving away from a safe space because my baby’s birth is completely out of my hands and I’m about to get cut open, AGAIN. I get in the room and they give me anesthesia in my spine to numb me for surgery. They also ask Josh to step out while they do so, for whatever reason. Mind you, I’m STILL experiencing extreme contractions. They are PAIN-FULLL, I’m extremely nervous and my husband and doctor aren’t in the room at this moment. Just the medical staff prepping me for surgery. The anesthesia requires a needle to numb my body through my spine and because I have scoliosis, they keep missing my spine and stabbing the left and right sides of my back (scoliosis means my spine is not centered). So now I’m going through it - I’m mourning the natural birth experience, I’m in pain because of my contractions AND I’m in pain because of this numbing experience gone wrong. I end up telling the anesthesiologist that I have scoliosis (I initially assumed she knew) and have to guide her blindly to my spine. Finally, I start feeling numb, this means the meds have successfully entered my body.
Because this is my second c-section, I’m expecting the surgery to be quick like it was with Ivan. NAW. They are tugging and pulling to get Iverson out for at least 20 minutes. Though I’m numb, I can still feel my body being worked on (not painful though because I’m numb from the waist down). After those LONG 20 minutes of surgery, I heard his sweet little cry. Immediately, all of the pain and negative emotions went away.
He was born August 12th @ 8:01 am, 8 pounds, 6 ounces, 20.5 inches.
I don’t even have the words to describe how relieving it felt to hear him and see him. He wasn’t born the way I imagined but God certainly answered my prayer to deliver a healthy baby boy. It was worth every moment.